Hi I’m Allie

Like you, I wear lots of hats. I'm a therapist, a spiritual director, a business/organizational consultant, a business owner-- not to mention a mom, partner, daughter, friend. It's the reason why burnout can--and will without care--happen--and has in the past. Yet my own experience of burnout recovery brought me to knowing the importance of my awareness of my roles.

This blog post comes to you after another year of discernment, of introspection into how I serve and in what capacity.

It comes right on time. My 5 year anniversary of my practice is here!

My Burnout Story

From a young age growing up in a family full of medical professionals, I received an early education in what hard work and sacrifices to a call like medicine can be like. I saw what challenges physicians faced, the swift adaptations needed in a quickly changing field, and the need to adjust expectations and sideline personal needs in order to reach professional goals. I inherited hard work and dedication to serving others.

I knew giving back was in my blood, so I went to school and pursued a career in psychology. Oh, I was in my element. On of the most true things about me is that I love to learn. I got multiple degrees, and certifications, and got my licensure. I sat through thousands of hours with folks and gathered the continuing education--I did all. the. things.

Over twenty years later, there's little I haven't seen, whether sitting together in the horror stories of childhood trauma with persons in the justice system, to listening to women in ministry voice their stress and burnout, to offering groups for older adults in recovery, to sitting with grief, to witnessing the joy of transformation, to conducting seminars on all types of subjects, from mindful parenting to mindfulness meditation for wellness.

The call to service was something that was a part of who I was--both generationally, and temperamentally. I held fast to the notion of service thanks to my Catholic upbrining. I knew the essential importance of giving of oneself and humbling oneself. When I sat with my first clients in community mental health centers in Philadelphia, I was faced right away with a sense of true helplessness. How am I, this privileged cis-hetero white girl from the 'burbs going to possibly help these poor teen moms, these drug-addicted immigrant dads, these grandparents who are working despite medical disorders just to keep food on the table for three generations? How could I possibly be of service to them? In retrospect, I was wrestling with the whole idea of white saviorism--in the early 00's before there was even vocabulary.

I still don't really know why, but I kept at it, because the clients kept coming, despite my inability to genuinely help them. I mean, I did the things therapists do--I reframed, I listened, I supported, I offered strategies. But I knew the beast was way bigger than just an hour a week with me could change. Maybe they stayed because they sensed, despite the fact I couldn't cure poverty or make their abuse stop or change their generational trauma, I was at least there. Someone was there to hear their story.

Listening Care Is Healing Care

Showing up became my mantra. I was someone who showed up.

I moved onto new jobs, new positions as a therapist, new positions in service in churches, and became a mom. Caring for others was my purpose. It became who I was (--ominous foreshadowing here!).

By 2010, I had a newborn and 2 year old, and despite birth challenges, I had a good support system and resources, and felt supported and focused on my caretaking roles. I loved seeing the world through my toddler's eyes: fresh, new, and exciting. I loved the patterns of naps and going to the park and farmers markets and apple orchards. I put aside my own needs --for them, and when I went back to work, for my clients-- and I genuinely felt good about this. It also nicely sidled up with my Catholic faith at the time--that humility and motherhood was sacred call that was honorable.

In 2012, I became pregnant with my third, and despite having healthy pregnancies with my first two, this one was far from easy. I was in the throws of a medically complicated pregnancy when we experienced the traumatic loss of my brother-in-law.

Holding space for my own shock and grief took a backseat to being present for those in my life who needed me. The subsequent final days of my pregnancy were marked by continued struggle to stay present, to be a caregiver to my loves despite the ripples of that loss--and then my third baby was born--8 weeks early.

I knew what it was to survive. I had done it before, and, I told myself--I did it well. And now, I continued to do all.the.things. I was there for my babies, I still put on the birthday parties, I still decided to go back to work to see clients. I told myself it was because I loved caring for others. It was in my blood.

Yet, slowly I was feeling the heaviness of the load, coupled by my own un-tended-to grief. It culminated one day in my back giving out—and my body, finally, told me, enough.

Finally, I listened.

Recovery

I had to stop it all. It was like a bell that was rung...and I was listening to it vibrate loudly, then a little less loud, and then a little less....until, one day, I felt stillness.

And the stillness felt foreign, loud, and, if I'm honest, a bit painful.

Spiritual re-alignment can be thrown around like a new-agey concept, yet it is ancient and in our bones. We know when our soul feels “off”, and we know when it doesn’t. For me, I couldn’t stop ignoring. And this is one of the most important turning points in my life.

I left the group practice I was at. I got myself into therapy and spiritual direction. I studied the mystics and walked miles and miles in the forest. I allowed these people, and the earth, changed my life, one step at a time.

I decided that this will be the last and final time I will burnout in my life.

Thankfully, I had the resources and time to stop. I stopped the train in its tracks and got off. It was time for me.

In retrospect, this was the beginning of a mind-body-soul quest. It was a journey I'm still on, feet on the ground, walking with clarity of purpose. I left the train I was on--that was given to me, rather than chosen--for good, and reclaimed my own sense of soul in the work, care, parenting..in all facets in my life.

What did I do?

I had to get honest with myself. Through true, challenging depth work, I centered down into my wholeness, stripped away the layers that kept me from my authentic self, and emerged with a sense of groundedness and inner knowing only going through transformative times can offer.

I also practiced what it meant to be resilient—I noticed the places in my life that were fed by creativity—where I could access the nourishing value of “flow” state—and most of these spaces were either writing poetry, doing art and collage, or being outside. I was reworking what it meant for me to serve myself, and from a full cup, I could serve others.

My Business Journey: What I Value, How I Care

From this place of dedication to my whole self, I founded Rooted Growth Counseling, LLC in 2018, an online therapy practice that centered in on supporting caregiving professionals--those in healthcare and ministry vocations as well as moms, teachers and holistic providers. I found that in my own burnout journey, I noticed the vacuum of providers out there that specialize in the nuances that burnout and secondary trauma can take on medical and therapeutic professionals and folks in ministry professions--and who truly understand that burnout is systemic, multi-factorial, and is often a sign of deep misalignment and psychophysiologic strain that often stymie and prevent us from our own voice and growth. I slowly grew my practice, online before online therapy really was much a "thing", while I completed my studies at the Haden Institute to develop my soul care wing of my practice.

In 2020, Root Grow Thrive bloomed. This became a space centered in on soul care and spiritual wellness offerings for women+ in ministry. Here I offered my workshops and developed courses on trauma and spiritual care, offering ways for spiritual and holistic care providers to navigate the diverse terrain of their often increasingly difficult work. I offered dream circles, and soul circles for women in ministry, I offered Enneagram workshops for inner exploration, I companioned folks one on one and led online retreats for inner stillness and reclaiming resiliency. I began to make collaborations with folks, adding professional consulting to my offerings as I support organizations such as the Lower Susquehanna Synod of the ELCA in their work to provide safer, more trauma informed spiritual spaces and nurture their pastors for health and sustainability of call.

I find that since my burnout journey, saying no, just like saying yes, has become a sacred gift, and I use it with intention and care. I found that being discerning, listening to my own voice, and only adding what will not just serve others, but can be life-giving for me as well. As Root Grow Thrive grew, reconnection was the theme--reconnecting to oneself, to one's community, to each other, to the collective. Reconnecting and understanding how we are so very interdependent and connected more intimately than we ever can understand.

A Garden of Opportunities

Reflecting on the past few years working within the realms of therapy, soul care, and professional consulting, I found that I was spending lots of time explaining all that I do and can be of help to folks, in part because of separating my practices. People were sometimes confused. Was I a minister? (nope) Was I a pastoral counselor? (nope) What is a spiritual director? How is that different than therapy?

While I deliniated my practices into two—therapy and spiritual direction—these did not feel right. Soul care—mental health, physical health, somatic health, spiritual health—it is all interconnected, in my experience. Yet I didn't see models of what I do out there. It's who I am—I hold strongly to the knowledge that divine is not to be

contained and question it all lightly. I'm clinically trained yet also decidedly anti-establishment and grow daily in my hopes to become decolonialized and anti-racist. I love a good healing crystal and I use the language and art of natal astrology and dreamwork and tarot are cornerstone spiritual practices. I live with delight in the wonder and reason of science, and eat up a well done empirical study. I was trained in clinical psychology, taught biology in grad school, spent countless hours on statistical and research methods and pouring over research projects. It's in my blood--I grew up in a family full of Western medical healers--I know the value and necessity of diversity of thought and scientific inquiry. I'm a student of Jungian thought, which spans the disciplines of mental health, anthropology, physics and metaphysics, spirituality, art, theology, and beyond. My unique professional identity spans all of this, rooted in ethical code of the American Counseling Association and Spiritual Directors International, focused on person-centered values, and adhere to a model of wholeness in all things, in all people.

Soul care has always been part of what I do and who I am in my work. With reflection, I discovered that Root Grow Thrive is a wide enough container for it all--it can contain the cohesive vision to be of service ethically and professionally, with the joy of creation and innovation always feeding its roots.

What is ROOT GROW THRIVE?

We all have processes to develop into our awareness of our wholeness. Root Grow Thrive is not just the name of my practice, it is the framework for the offerings that I share for you--where I can be of most help in the service and professional care that I offer. Here we value humility, generosity, compassion, bravery, and integrity. What does that look like in practice?

Root: (v): growing downward, anchoring, absorbing that which nourishes.

I provide therapeutic support for understanding your trauma, reflecting on what brings you to the struggle and transition you're going through, and exploring the depths of

histories that provide us with insight and understanding and self compassion, As a clinical depth psychotherapist, I have nearly twenty years experience helping folks navigate and process grief, burnout, challenge, trauma. Sometimes it takes months or years of therapy, or short term but fruitful, intentional spaces--retreats, workshop series, and therapy intensives. Inner work with me looks like a lot of things--archetype and astrological work, exploring dreams and the Enneagram, creative practice and ritual work--the more creative, rich and yummy the better!

Grow: (v): to develop, cultivate, develop.

Growth requires us leaning into the "edges" of life, understanding our boundaries and learning ways to navigate with self-awareness. Therapy and spiritual direction can give us ways to understand what spaces we inhabit support us, what is ours to do within them, and find ways to support our wholistic embodiment within it all--mind-body-spirit-soul. Growth is reconnecting us to possibility and our purpose. It is seeing a wider vision of what we could possibly imagine for ourselves, our life, our loves.

Thrive: (v): to prosper, flourish

To have a sustainable call, to prevent further burnout and maintain our resiliency, we must have the practices to make us feel alive. When we have access to joy and contentment, our creativity and connection--this is where we truly become the human that we feel we are born to be. If you think this is big stuff, it is! Thriving is what connects us most to our bravery--to take the risks that we feel most in alignment with in our soul's purpose and calling. When we've rooted down into our self-knowledge, when we've connected to our growth paths--we are ready to thrive and stretch into the unknown.

Everything Has A Season, Everything Is Cyclical

We don't stay in a thriving posture forever. We reconnect back down, we orient ourselves back into our rooted path. For heart-centered healers and helpers, maintaining resiliency is a lifelong endeavor. We are always are invited back inside ourselves; it is part and parcel to being a human in the natural world. When we navigate diverse terrain together, we feel less alone and learn what it is to be in community when things are hard, to remain in connection if we are struggling, to listen to our needs and to meet them bravely--in essence--to heal.

Moving Forward and Outward

As we all round the corner of another calendar year, I have fresh and innovative offerings brewing as Root Grow Thrive flourishes in its new container.